I Still Believe

(Writing Prompt: Take a quote from your favorite movie. Now, write!)

I still believe in fairytales
The ones we used
To tell each other
While lying under the tree

After all this time?

Always

I still believe in happy endings
Like the one we got when
I was beast and you the beauty
In our 3rd grade play

After all this time?

Always

I still believe in forever
That there’s something beyond infinity
Just like what Buzz said
When we watched, huddled in a blanket

After all this time?

Always

I still believe I could fly
Because I felt that I can
When you gave me
The sweetest “yes”

After all this time?

Always

I still believe in magic
Because that’s what I felt
When your lips
Touched mine

After all this time?

Always

I still believe in second chances
Because we had it
When we had a
“Misunderstanding”

After all this time?

Always

I still believe in wedding rings
Because they sparkled brightly
When I put it on your finger

After all this time?

Always

I still believe that you’d be back
Because you said it
Before the plane left

After all this time?

Always

I still believe in you and me
Because I saw it
Deep in the baby’s eyes

After all this time?

Always

I still believe I’d find another
Because you said it
When you let me sign
Our divorce papers

After all this time?

Always

I still believe in crying
Because it relieved me
Of the pain
Of seeing you newly wed

After all this time?

Always

I still believe you’d wake up
When I visited you
And all of them wore
Black

After all this time?

Always

I still believe in Hades
That I could get you out of there
If only I was brave enough

After all this time?

Always

Why I Had Extreme Tachycardia

I was browsing through the internet when it happened, one night, January 12, 2015.

As soon as I got inside the dormitory, I threw my bag on the floor and opened my laptop. upcat.up.edu.ph/results, I typed in the browser, and waited for it to load. I managed to memorize the address due to my everyday visiting of the site.

Last Updated: February 2, 2014

This has always been my routine since December, when the DLSUCET Results came out. I did not take the DLSUCET, so I didn’t feel the reassurance of passing that my classmates did.

Disappointed once again, I went outside to have dinner with my dormmates.

Fast forward to around 10 o’ clock. I had just succeeded in thinking of a witty tweet, and I was about to press Tweet when I saw some of RiSci’s alumni tweeting, “Congrats, Batch 2015 UPCAT Passers!”

I think my heartbeat leapt from 95 to 295.

“Iseah, pumunta ka dito!” (“Iseah, come here!”) I shouted across the dormitory hall while hurriedly typing the UPCAT Results address.

Iseah (who would later become RiSci’s Class 2015 Valedictorian) was a batchmate who also took the UPCAT. He went to my room looking rather annoyed (I probably disturbed him from playing NBA 2K15). “Look.” I gestured for him to look at my laptop.

“Shit.” Iseah whispered. “Shet!” he shouted, then he went out of the room.

As he was broadcasting the news to everyone in the dorm, I searched for the row where my name is supposed to be. I clicked the row and the page loaded in an instant.

I scrolled down…

Thud. Thud.

Limen…

Thud. Thud.

Lin…

Thud. Thud.

Lingat…

Thud. Thud.

I closed my eyes.

I heard Iseah arrive.

I opened my eyes.

LINGATONG, EDMAR ESMAMA | DILIMAN | BA CREATIVE WRITING

My heartbeat galloped from 295 to 595.

I shouted on the top of my lungs, “Yes!” My hands trembled, and I forgot everything that happened next. I just remeber floating in the clouds.

I never felt something like this. Every part of me was cold. My heart beats like I’ve just finished a marathon.

Dream School. Dream Course. “Maraming salamat, Lord.” (“Thank you very much, Lord.”) I muttered.

I tweeted, I posted. There was an outrage on social media. The news spread like wildfire. In the next second, everyone was talking about UPCAT Results. I remember chatting some of my classmates and typing while my hands are trembling.

It took almost two hours before I got over the impression that I passed.

I lay in bed, muttering a prayer almost every minute, until I fell asleep peacefully.